God Hand for PlayStation 2

God Hand was Clover Studios' last game before Capcom disbanded them, and it's a damn shame. While Okami was a very unique and innovative title that redefined how games are played, God Hand is a retro love letter to old-school video gamers. Mostly it's an ode to the side-scrolling beat'em ups that were prevalent on the 8-bit and 16-bit systems of the time, such as Final Fight and Streets of Rage.

Plot...Not Really
The player finds themselves controlling the character of Gene as he enters some nameless town with his companion, Olivia. It turns out that Gene's arm was cut off by some thugs that were harassing Olivia, but somehow she was able to make a new one grow in its stead...only this one has the power of a god in it. And with this power he beats the snot out of everyone that stands in his way to do battle with the evil villians....well not exactly. Gene would much rather just sit around and drink booze all day but Olivia keeps assigning tasks for him to do, and sometimes she finds very creative ways to get Gene to do what she asks of him.

On the opposite end of the protagonists' spectrum is the evil council...well that's what I'm gonna call them. The council consists of three humanoid looking demons: The overly cliched evil leader Belze, the sultry dominatrix Shannon, and the fat, chain-smoking, foul-mouthed....Elvis???

And then you got Gene's opposite number, Azel, the Wesker-lookalike with shades who possesses the Devil Hand.

Anyway, the plot doesn't matter in this game. As I said before, this entire game is one huge love-letter to old-school gamers. There's so many little in-joke nuances in the game it's incredible, both pertaining to, and outside of, videogame culture in general. When you boot up the game itself, you get the typical warning saying that the game has graphic depictions of gore and violence in it....only it doesn't. It's just another little in-joke among the many that permeate God Hand. Normally when you boot up most video games, a cinematic plays showing you the game's story. Not God Hand, straight to the title screen you go! Just like all the old school beat'em ups of the day. The plot itself is just an excuse to go from point A to point B and mercilessly beat the crap out of everything that moves, just like most games of yore.

All-in-all, the plot is inconsequential, but it definitely contributes to a lot of zaniness that runs rampant in God Hand, and also shows off a lot of laugh-out-loud moments of randomness.

Kicking *ss Has Never Been So Fun
As far the gameplay goes, well, I think the above title should speak for itself. At a basic level, God Hand plays like a 3D beat'em up. It apparently utilizes the same (or similar) engine that was employed in Resident Evil 4, in that the camera is positioned behind the main character, albeit not over the shoulder as in RE4's case. Also, camera control is limited, if non-existant, although that really isn't a big issue for this game.

At any rate, gameplay itself consists of you running over to some bad guys, and hitting the appropriate buttons to unleash a torrent of punchs and/or kicks upon them. Given certain circumstances, you also have the ability to counter enemy attacks by hitting the appropriate button at the right time, or even initiating some crazy-insane beatings of your own such as kneeing the crap out of someone thirty times in a row, doing suplexes, or the most iconic move in the game, ruthlessly and nonsensically stomping a mudhole in someone. Well, I take that back, not as iconic as the attack that lets you spank women...and that's not a joke. That's in the game.

Although at its heart, God Hand is an old-school button masher, the game breaks that up by allowing you find and (in-between stages) purchase special moves and ablities and power ups to raise Gene's maximum health. How it works is you can go into a menu and choose from certain moves that you can assign to the square button that allows Gene to chain up to a maximum of 6 consecutive attacks to combo in rapid succession. And the game offers well over a hundred moves alone for you to experiment with, each offering their own little unique slant on combat. These moves include amusing gems like "Pimp Smack", "Pay Up Now!", "Yes Ma'am Kablaam", "Mule Kick", and literally an entire slew of drunken style fighting ala Jackie Chan's Drunken Master. And that's just the tip-of-the-iceberg moves that aren't even unlocked after the game is beaten.

There are several mechanics that can be ascribed to each move that sets them apart beyond simply doing more damage, or aesethics. Some moves have special properties, such as being able to break an enemy's guard (very useful), knocking enemies back, or raising your character's TP.

Along with combos, there is also the God Reel, a special set of moves that can only be used if you have God Reel guage filled up. This Reel of attacks consists of some of the most random, painful, over-the-top set of moves in the game. There's Ball-Buster (which doesn't work on women, naturally), Dragon Kick, Head-Slicer, Face Runner (it does what it says...ouch) and a hell of a lot other comical moves that are guarenteed to send the enemies reeling...

/Gets executed by the Punny Police.

Finally, after the God Reel, there is also the TP meter. This meter fills when you do damage, take damage, and taunt the enemy, and do special moves, and once it has filled to a certain point, you can use it to unleash the power of the God Hand. For a limited duration while it's active, you are invincible, and you unleash your combo attacks at breakneck speed for even more damage than usual. This is mostly used to counter the demon enemies that you randomly encounter during stages, which upon their death leave you a treasure chest, usually holding a new move for you to use.

The game itself runs very smooth, and Gene himself can move at cartoonishly breakneck speed by simply doubling tapping the analog stick up and holding it. On the defensive side of things, Gene cannot block. He can, however, dodge attacks. Dodging is governed by the right analog stick, and by tapping it you can sidestep, lean to and fro, and even backflip from danger. And with a simple tap of L1 Gene performs the a 180 turnaround that lets face new opponents or make a fast getaway.

Old School
Because this game mirrors the old days of video game simplicity, it also mirrors their difficulty. This game can be brutally hard, even on Easy difficulty. Fortunately, the game employs several mechanics that prevent it being too overwhelming to the player. First off are health items randomly strewn throughout the stages that are hidden either in crates, or bestowed upon you by thankful civilians you rescue along the way. Enemies will sometimes drop power ups, and weapons that can be picked up to bash in some skulls with.

Another aspect of the game's difficulty is there is a leveling system of sorts in the game that adjusts the enemy's level of challenge based on how well you are performing. As you get better, the level rises. If you are playing on Easy, this level never rises past Level 2. On Normal it can rise up to Level DIE!. And finally on Hard Mode it always stays on Level DIE!. But normally whenever you take a sound beating, your level will drop back down. The benefit to fighting enemies at a higher level is that you get bonus points. These points are used as money to spend in between stages at either a casino, or the shop to buy moves, or later on to bet in Chihuahua races.

Yes, you heard that right, Chihuahua races. It's like horse racing except with Chihuahuas. They're even named like horses, although the names are chockful of nuance referring to video games, pop culture (hell internet culture), and movies. Names like Amaterasu, Boom Headshot, and 37 In A Row should give you an idea of how much love, humor and detail the game designers put into this game.

Along with some awesome tunes to listen to during the game, it also sports some of the most memorably insane and random boss fights in recent history. This game sends up everything. Wrestling, power rangers, samurais, old people, Mega Man, 70s blaxploitation, and pretty much anything else can be a boss in this game. And it hams this up even further with deliberately cheesy dialogue in battle and in cutscenes. Not to mention this game has the most awesome and hilarious ending credits in all of gaming history.

Anyway, this review is running a bit long, and I think I touched on all the finer points that help define God Hand from other games out today. Again, if you are an old-school game fan, or just want to play a short, fun game (it's only about 8-10 hours, but there's a lot of replayability), then definitely find God Hand, because I don't know if they have made anymore copies of the game since Clover was disbanded, and trust me, this is one nostalgic little title that you don't wanna pass up.