I can't use offensive language or content in my review?!

Oh, curse the Nazi swine at eopinion's for that, CURSE THEM! I mean, I uttered so many obscenities throughout my (very shortlived) experience with Sin, I think it'd be somehow appropriate to extend that eloquence to my review, right? I'm writing this review something like six months after I dared to try out this game, but I despise the game so much I feel compelled to offer a few opinions regarding it.

I'll submit to "Da Man" so that this review isn't deleted or anything, and I shall attempt to make a well-reasoned argument for NEVER BUYING THIS PIECE OF CRAP. Before I begin, allow me to thank my local independent computer store for having a generous return policy...now if only they offered therapy sessions for those inflicted with something as perfectly terrible as this game.

No, I'm not overexagerrating, allright?! This is a game based on the Quake 2 engine. So there's no justification for: choppy framerates on a Pentium 3, a complete lack of sound effects (I later learned that yes, the game did have sound effects, it's just my Riptide soundcard wasn't playing them), sudden exits to the desktop right and left. Yeah, the level design might be somewhat more indepth than that of Quake 2, but it doesn't automatically make for a stunning game! The time spent tossing in the scripted sequences (which by the way did not amaze me or anything, they were only kinda cool, and then only once) would have been far better spent on QUALITY ASSURANCE. Jesus...

And although I can't really say one way or the other as I couldn't get the sound effects to work, I guess I should be singing God's praises for that fact, given the fact that 95% of all the review's I've read take extra care to mock the trite one-liners and uninspiried weaponry sounds. So I extend my thanks to Ritual for not supporting all sound boards and thereby allowing me to avert the pure onslaught of idiocy contained in this game's one-million Barney Miller references.

But I hear all you Tomb Raider fanatics now, scrambling all over each other to be the first to tell me "Yo Craig, you just haven't seen the boss yet! DOOD, it's a BOMB-ASS CHICK! Elexis rules!" You mean to tell me there is a boss monster in this game? Funny how I never noticed - I was beginning to think the Start Menu button at the bottom of my desktop was the final encounter in Sin, given that my experience playing this game always ending with me suddenly confronted by it, no warnings or 'page fault' messages or nothing. Concerning Elexis, I normally tend to mock the concept of "let's ensure that the most prominent feature of our game is a really hot chick" as a shameless attempt to appeal to the largest possible computer-gaming demographic of dateless, pizza-inhaling losers. But you know what? Sin certainly doesn't have anything else going for it. Assuming that you can keep the game running long enough to get to that point, hey, go ahead and cancel your subscriptions to the seventy or so porn sites you've got, maybe the ending to this game is all you'll need.

Sure, I've never seen the ending, but I'm grasping for straws trying to say something positive about Sin. That's the best I can do. And if you're wondering, I never tried multiplayer because I spent too much time playing Half-Life and Heretic 2.

(My Learning Curve rating of "couldn't really figure it out" is mostly based on the fact that I could barely get the game to start, let alone run well for more than thirty minutes. And my Sound rating of "Click on the mute button!" - HA HA HA, there's a lot of irony in that one. More appropriate would be "Thank God I Didn't Have To Waste Time Hitting The Mute Button, The Sound Never Worked!")